January 1, 2012

• It’s aBOUT TIME!!!!

     

  Well, it’s kind of dark and we’re a bit distant but this just shows that we finally got a little photo of our little family. Wait. Let me put another one on here. Okay, me and my man. For next Christmas, I wish I could hire several of you tto come and take our Christmas portrait. Then I’d be happy!

  Isn’t it frustrating when you envision something fanTAStic and then you finally get to put the wheels in motion, yet the outcome isn’t really what was in your “vision”? That’s THE story of MY life! Oh, don’t worry, I’m not going to dump anything on you now. I’ve had enough of that done to me, so, I’ll spare YOU! ( 8   But, here’s how the week went-flew by.

  Christmas was great and busy and pretty and messy. It was nice to have my parents and sister here for the first Christmas time ever at our house. Too bad it took so many years to get them here! I believe they’ve missed out on alot of fun with my kids growing up. They were great with my little Grands, but once 3 yr. old Autumn got into her hysterical belly laugh routine, Dad suddenly found it easy to get out of his chair and assertively tell mom that he was getting weary. So, my dear Brianne took my parents and sister home. 

  The whole week was about family and who was coming up to visit on what day. I loved the action! I LOVED that my youngest brother and his wife actually like to come to my house, unlike other family members who are used to the fine life and no doubt, feel my house is too small and in the wrong neighborhood. So, BAH on that! I met up with a family member at the mall in order t get to see her. I love her and understand where she’s coming from. As for the rest of the family, we all have a choice to visit or not. It  depends on what all is going on and where you really want to be and who is the hierarchy (and I think I misspelled that but don’t want to bother checking).

  Alot of my time near the end of the year was spent taking photos of other people so that they had a nice shot for their Christmas card. My other time was gobbled up with  time spent at the gym, whipping my chubby, shortnnss into the beginnings of a new shape. I am deTERmined to find myself underneath all this unwanted flesh. There is a new creature hiding in there,  wanting to burst out and have a go at living a more exciting life. Could it be because she will be 55 in 3 months? Or, could it be because she will be married 32 years in May and wants to look amazing and hear precious and rare compliments from her husband? Yes. That’s part of it.

  There is this feeling of desperation deep inside the aging part of my mind; that time is short and that I better pull myself together and be who I’m meant to be.  My sister, who lives the epitomy of the pretty life, told me to put myself on the list. I asked her, “What list?” Yeah, I’m one of those who serves people, takes care of everybody, makes sure everybody is healthy, clean and safe and loved and hugged and kissed and photographed and well-mannered and that they get to go out and have fun. So, putting myself on that list is something I’m trying to do without become uber selfish and self-serving.  I mean, I could EASily dredge  up that old nature and become the  “It’s ALL About Me” queen and totally feel sorry for myself and use my sad childhood as the perfect excuse to go all out and splurge on ridiculously expensive living.. . then the obedient heart girl would show up in me and I’d feel sick to my stomach and not sleep for days.  So, I choose the right balance and things go better, especially with a touch of chocolate in my mouth.

  This has gotten way too wordy. I don’t normally do this. But, this is the New Year, so I guess I’d better use my words now, while I have the chance. After all, I may not be around tomorrow.

  • 10:40 pm
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