March 7, 2014

  • Sweet Petals of Life

     

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    Instead of taking the time to write here, tapping these little square, black keys, I chose to dump my feelings on the lined paper pages in my pretty journal. A paper cut while turning a quickly filled page

    reminded me that life is moving at a fast pace, yet it’s important to still use pen and paper. I write to stay sane. Processing feeling, events, facts, and recording quotes so that I have “proof” that something has been said is important to me.

    Parts of life are pushed back into my little mental closets. I don’t like pain of any kind, even though pain helps us to persevere and grow stronger. Other parts of life are the things that I wish I could suspend in front of my eyes so that I can enjoy the JOY and beauty of the moment. My sister’s recent, horrific dental visit (5 extractions without pre-numbing for each shot of novacaine) (yes, really) was an experience I will never forget, while she will never remember because of the sleeping pill that finally took effect. My pain of really missing mom hit me 2 weeks ago and I simply wanted to run away. Running in place has become the new norm.  The joyful moments include my little grown up girl’s upcoming wedding. Thankfully, things are rolling right along and for that, I am so thankful. The photo of her in the gown we bought is at the forefront of my memory right now and I smile with sheer contentment. Soon, my 6th grandwonder will be born, hopefully healthy…a little girl. The events of life are like the petals of the rose. Layered. Some with ragged edges. The outer ones kind of flopping open and the inner ones looking crisp and tight. The in-between layers~petals are sensing both ways; feeling the tightness of the inner ones and watching the flopping of the outer ones. I wonder where I am in this. Probably in the middle section with a few ragged edges.

Comments (8)

  • Yes, life is kind of like a rose – some beautiful – some ragged.

  • just remember when you have grandkids you get to relieve that time in your life when yours were little and you have a do over.
    Hubby and I are so tired after a day of keeping up with a 16month old our little Reid. And forget the four year old.LOL he never stops playing.

    • I hear you, Jill! When mine were little, I managed better as far as energy goes. Now, our oldest son and his wife are expecting their 6th child! Everytime the other5 come here, it’s fun, sometimes stressful, and after they leave, I clean like a madwoman, then collapse!

  • ps I do hear what you’re saying.

  • It sounds like life is a little overwhelming — that happens, but you will get through it. Any chance of a trip to Laguna soon?

    • Hello, my dear Janet! Rich was talking about maybe going over soon, so that we can get away before the wedding, and restore our sanity! I hope we get over there! If we do, I’ll get in touch with you! <3

  • I finally realized how to make my wife happy. Let her visit our great grand children. She has not smiled that big since we got married.

    Sorry you feel down sometimes. I do. I make the mistake sometimes of thinking about the early childhood abuse that I had from mom and wonder how it affected me and the act of sadism in grade school.. This happened over 60 years ago and I should not dwell on it.

    blessings

    frank

    p.s. Nice to see you post!!

    • Frank, I know we shouldn’t dwell on those things, but it’s hard not to when your subconscious doesn’t know that it’s been 60 (or however many) years ago. If we don’t deal with it, it can continue to eat at us. I have number for a counselot but haven’t made the call yet. I don’t want to cry anymore, even though I know those particular tears must be let out in order to wash away the other stuff. I can imagine Norma’s happiness at seeing the little ones. Mine make me smile and laugh, yet they exhaust me sometimes.I just really need a break from all of the normal Taking Care of Everybody. Just a little break. I realize how important it is to help people; I’d hope that someone would step in and help me if and when I need it. Take care, Frank! By the way, you look pretty snazzy with that hat on!

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