May 20, 2012
-
C’mon brain…EnGage!
Water is essential for the brain. For many types of plants, grasses, etc. Right now I feel like a flopping over dandelion that hasn’t had much rain. SO much life is whipping by and I can’t keep up with writing about it here or even in my journal. I can’t even discuss things with my husband now unless we do so in the privacy of our car. My thoughts and feelings are now relegated to the deepest closet of my mind as someone in the house has decided that these things (topics of discussion) are too much for said person to overhear. Hubby and I are responsible for my parents’ well-being and simply need to chat about what he was told versus what I was told, etc. It’s complicated when these things are assumed to be “negative talk”…when it’s actually us comparing notes and possibly/probably airing a bit of frustration about how things are (funny how other people are allowed to do that but WE aren’t?!?) and our feeling of being overwhelmed with everything. …everything being, well, everything. We’ve done our school experience, our working several jobs or one job forever experience, the marriage experience, the parenting experience, the grandparenting experience and whatever else experience…pouring time and energy into all of it and we’d like to keep going strong with the marriage-parent-grandparent experiences. We just need to be understood. We need people to know that we don’t want pity, but respect and mercy and ooh yeah, HELP! I just want to pack a bag and fly away, to California, I guess. At least there, I know I could do a photoshoot, get paid for it, and pay for my stay. And relax, without DEALing with STUFF! Now. I know this might be offensive to some…I hope it isn’t. This is completely harmless compared to what other people are saying in the venting venues. This ain’t nuttin’ honey. And, I know I am recovering from this latest irritation. I can feel it coming on right now as I type, as the little piece of coffee candy makes its way through my bloodsteam and into my brain, to mix with whatever water might be there.
Bed will be nice tonight, if I can talk to hubby before he snoozes off to his bad thyroid sleep. At least Jesus always listens. And loves unconditionally. And says he’s never going to leave me. And his mercy is new every morning (unlike my gripes that continue from one day to the next!).
Just to help myself feel pretty, I let my hair grow a bit, then trimmed off a little off the back length. Brushed my toenails with a new, soft tangerine color polish. Opened my Bible and read 2Corinthians 4… something to soothe the soul.
I really miss everyone, you all. Mostly, I’m too busy or tired to get on and read everything. I have a large order of photos to do in the next couple of days and once that is complete, I have a certain someone’s high school graduation to deal with. Yep. “Deal with”. My baby and all his little friends have grown up and will be throwing their grad caps into the air on Friday night, while I am collecting all the tear soaked tissues that might be at my feet. SO many special kids…so many childhood memories…so many great parents in the audience to glance sideways at, like “remember when we…”
This has gotten long and tedious and hopefully not boring. I do love it when I can read every word you all type out. I know your hearts are pretty much in what you say. That means alot to me!
Comments (16)
Oh, Gail — that’s such a difficult stage to deal with. I was caught between my niece telling me that “Granny doesn’t like it when people talk about her as if she wasn’t there,” and needing to talk with the hospice people — bringing on a question from Granny (my mother): “Why do you always follow the hospice people outside and talk?” Gah — how frustrating! You do need those conversations with Rich — and it’s so difficult to have to do your talking elsewhere! I’m sorry! Yes — do come to California when you can — would love to see you!
thinking of you
“We just need to be understood.”~ girl, you hit the nail on the head!!!!!!!!!!! I feel the EXACT same way!
being a verbal processer myself, i’ve found that my life and the people in it
don’t offer me the space and privacy that we had at one time to do that! so here’s to the new mercies and tangerine polish that you mentioned. and an overflow of refreshment to those weary and full places in your brain that need a vacation. i hear ya…and love you lots.
@slmret - Like you said, “GAH!” Thank you for your understanding and encouragement! I love you and if I do get over there, I will definately call you and invite myself to hang out with you. I would also pay my own way! ( 8 Some dreams do come true; let’s hope this one does! ((( * * ))) hugs.
@andreas_d - I’m always thinking of you, too! Every time I see roses, which is always now! Oh and when I see the sun peering through the tree branches. (again, always). I’m glad you’re still here!
@victoriantomboy - We need a “Friends Retreat”! That’s where we could all tell our stories and share our boxes of Kleenex and get massages!
@down_onthefarm - I KNEW you’d understand! We must fight for our sanity, our marriages…nkay, so I’m adding another layer of tangerine to my toes. Ya know, to make Monday even better. HA! Bunches of love to you!
@Richgem - oh honey child……that would be absolutely WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, that’s got to be hard but totally understand both points. Don’t focus on the irritation and think on it because it won’t get better by worrying. Just give it to God because He can take better care of it.
@redladybug18 - Yes, you are right! I tell myself that, but at the same time, we need to do some verbal working through it and along with that, bounce our opinions and ideas off each other. It’s all such a balancing act and sometimes it just really drains me. I do think I’ll sleep very well tonight. SOme of the stress feeling has lifted, and I am thanking Jesus!
Oh wow….can I ever relate to this! I go through it with my kids! My oldest wants to inject himself into every conversation my hubby and I have and my other two don’t want to hear anything or have us talk about much! My hubby and I have date night just to be able to talk uninterrupted! Ugh!
Downtime is coming Gail Girl!!
Praying for you at the graduation ceremony tomorrow. Those aren’t as emotional as marring off your son though.
Love Ya!!
@SealedbyGrace - Here’s an I Can Relate hug for you!!! ((( * * ))) I have to tell myself, it could be worse. ALOT worse!
@betheelou - Yes, I know! ( 8 I married off my son Jonathan 8 years ago and it was a very emotional moment. As I get older, I cry more; those silly hormones! Thank you for the prayers…they’re needed!
Browsing through your site and trying to catch up! Take care my friend.