The days of my life consist of alot of reading, a little laundry, a little cooking, some eating and cleaning up, spending time with hubby, watering a few things outside and plucking weeds, “being there” for friends and family, working out at the little gym, photography and lots and lots of praying. I am missing my 2 Away at College kids something awful! A friend of mine and her daughter just flew over there today to look around at the school for a few days. Also, this friend has just cooked a nice big lasagna meal for my kids and their friends. My hugs got transferred to my kids via Laura. A friend of my red-haired Ryan is flying over on Wednesday. He gave me an extra hug this morning at church so that he could give it to Ryan. It’s not “the same” and my eyes got all teary and my voice all wobbly….
So my photos show my emotions; a dead tree next to a live one – I go back and forth but I do feel more alive. Thankfully, my older son and my daughter-in – love and those 5 precious Grandwonders keep me feeling more alive! They love on me and make me laugh. Actually, the older ones allow me to love on them! The younger 3 are more ready to be loved on.
Our weather has been glorious and is supposed to cool down by Friday. I love the nippy chill of the evening air and am ready to pull on a sweater and boots. Pinterest makes me a bit anxious, however with the whole wardrobe idea thing going on. Oy vey, if my closet was full of those cute outfits, I’d be going out and about ALL the time, bee-bopping with a crowd who dresses like that. My circle has been a bit tight lately and doesn’t really require very cute outfits. That’s a relief, however. Thank God my friends don’t sniff their noses at me for wearing the same old same old again!
Now, for the “attytood”. It never fails. I get myself all Jesus through me together and a thorn in my flesh appears and I’m on a new roll of feeling sorry for myself because a relative gets to live SUCH a pretty life while I am here in my life, next to neighbors I can’t trust at all, with the fixit projects still waiting and car issues to deal with and other things (of COURSE!) and no chance of getting away for even a few days to at least go see my kids. That’s how it looks for now, anyway. You just never know what glorious miracle can change things around. If a glorious miracle doesn’t happen, we simply must keep our chins up, grip the Comfortor’s hand and carry on. Justified tears can moisten my pillow. Fortunately, I am big girl enough to not allow tears at the pity party. My difficult situations are nothing compared to what a few of my dear friends are going through…your tears are justified, reasonable.
I pray for you, every time I think of you. Think LIFE. Treasure breathing. I am thankful for whispy weird things that are at the end of their prettiness and for the dead tree next to the live one, for the yellow flowered bush in the midst of the dry grass, and especially for neighborhood sunsets that throw a multihued glow over my little home.
Comments (28)
My mood lately has been crazy some times I am happy sometimes I am not I have been rocking hot and cold like that for several weeks…I know I am driving poor hubby crazy… I think life as Mae knows it is a huge roller coaster ride…My sone just graduated from college and he is looking for a teaching job and my daughter Shannon just got a pretty much of a dream job she loves older people and she stays two night a week with a 97 years young lady and now they are gal pals and my daughter Catie lives in Kansas with her hubby and baby girl I am really missing them…well that is Mae’s life in a nut shell…key word here is nut
I like the whispy weird thing. Are your kids at the same college? I will pray God will provide a way for you to see them. Our youngest is working in Detroit. I’m praying for a wife for him. He’ll be 29 soon. I’m blessed because 5 of the kids and their families live nearby. Our middle girl is in TX. I think I’ll phone her today. The sunset is lovely.
THinking about you and wishing good things to come your way!
ugh. my heart just flopped over and hurt for you reading about missing your kids that are away~ i miss kate and ben each day and they’re just at a school right here, coming home every day at 3! i can’t imagine when they’re grown and decide to go off somewhere and it’s days and months before i see them again. :/ i know it blesses you knowing friends are still getting to them, giving them hugs from you, loving on them. but i know your own arms ache for them. thinking of you with all that, friend.
and your last paragraph about your “attytood” i so understand. comparison kills the joy everytime, doesn’t it. how i want to live w/ my eyes only focused one place. here’s to us BOTH striving to do that this week!!!
love all your beautiful pictures. and YOU.
xo
Tears have been such a relief for me. While I know others go through things that are worse, the Lord has been showing me that it’s okay to cry. It’s a wonderful release.
Praying for you. I know what it’s like to miss your kids. Haven’t seen my oldest son in a very long time and miss him terribly! (((warm hugs)))
Glad for your friends bringing hugs to your kids. I remember when my kids left…….that was ions ago but I still remember the empty feeling. And there are always the grands………a very special blessing He gives us.
oh sorry you are feeling blue missing your kids, i imagine thats hard, I’m sure my parents could relate with us living away. Thankfully God always uses other people and other things to fill the gaps. hugs!
@SisterMae - ”life in a nut shell” gives me a peek anyway! This mood swing time of life is made more difficult when we have other issues going on, right? My moods are pretty even, but this crybaby stuff, OY vey. That and the ocassional warm wave (I don’t have hot flashes) makes me an interesting case for my hubby. ( 8 How wonderful that your daughter has a dream job…perfect fit when what we love to do goes hand in hand with people we love. I have a friend who sits with elderly people; she loves it and it’s a good fit for her! You must be proud of your son, graduating from college…I hope he finds his dream teaching job! Do you get to visit Catie and family often? I’m thankful I have my Grands nearby!
@ata_grandma - Yes, they’re at the same place, thank God! I’ll pray for a wife for your son! From what I’ve seen lately, a good wife is hard to find! I do know a lovely single gal here who is a precious girl in my opinion. But, here is far from Detroit!
@aSeriesofFortunateEvents - Thank you, Dearie…I just need to let it go and trust God. ( :
@grace_to_be - I love your flopped over heart and that you care so much! My heart has flopped over for you, too, many times. You do know the feeling. Our kids are such a part of us…I’ve picked up my girl’s sweatshirt that is still in her dirty clothes basket and sniffed it I don’t know how many times. Did the same with my boy’s. I miss seeing them in the morning, coming out of their bedrooms, all glazed over and hair sticking out/up everywhere. I do feel tremendously blessed that they will come home for Christmas and Jesus fills these empty canyons in my heart. And yes, focusing on Him keeps me from envying the one whose life is so dang pretty! If it was anyone else, I wouldn’t be bothered. We can do this, dear friend.
@SealedbyGrace - Tears are cleansing and yes, a release from what we bottle up inside. How long has your boy been gone? I do feel for you…it’s a difficult stage. When my firstborn left, part of me died. When he moved back to our area 2 years ago with his wife and then 4 kiddos, I felt more alive again. Letting go is part of life and it’s Hard! ((( * * ))) hugs back to you!
@oldfatgramma - The friends who transfer my hugs to my kids…they’re so wonderful! And yes, the Grands are such a blessing! They add a whole new dimension to our lives!
@floridayankees - I am so grateful for who God puts in place to “fill the gaps” and how he fills the enormous gaps in my heart! Yes, your parents probably can relate to missing you and your family!
you sound like me with a little cleaning and a little washing. lol
Dear Gail, These chapters can be so hard. I know the “missing them so much” emotion. I try to praise the Lord for the phone…….to hear their voices and then try to remember the last-hug-in-person. Our last time together was June of this year and I’m looking at those pictures – often! Maybe a good cry would help me instead of trying to be brave! Hope you’re having a really, really good evening. ~love and blessings
@jillcarmel - That’s a funny one!( :
@threejoys - Hi Cordy! Being brave rarely helps me anymore…I know what you mean! Crying does help, and then pulling up the bootstraps and getting on with the day helps, too. Our evening has just begun, as it is 5:30 and the sun is sliding down over the other side of the mountain. I have just put chunks of red potatoes in the oven to roast. SO far, so good. And my daughter has been messagin me and sent me a cell phone photo. I love it.
It’s too bad you can’t come visit :/ It’s so hard to be content and brave where God has you sometimes. Keep hanging in there! Love ya! (hug)
Aw… it is hard to physically be in one place and your heart another (with your college kids). Prayers for you.
Hi Gail, Just stopping by to say hello! : ) Oh it’s an odd season of life isn’t it? I understand.
Just wanting to check in on you, enjoyed your descriptions and I sooo hear your heart. I had two girls in China last summer and I cannot tell you how I felt…
Love to you, Amelia
Oh Gail- I love your honesty, your way of putting things into words. Sorry about you missing your kids…but it does get better with time…..you’ll always look forward to their return…you’ll appreciate their time with you more….and I love your photos and how you tie them into your words! love ya!
@redladybug18 - I’m hangin’ in there. ( : It’s SO hard that we didn’t get to see Ryan and Brianne. God has me where he has me, therefore I must be content!
@TrentTribe - You nailed it…and lately, I’ve felt an even stronger tug. It’s harder when/if they are having any kind of difficulty. Hubby and I aren’t close by to help right away!
@thats_italian - My long-lost Amelia! HI!!!! Yes, this season of life is odd! I can only imagine what it was like for you to have 2 of your girls in China for the summer. The initial separation, then the wondering how things are really going, etc. We sure do earn our stretch marks, don’t we! ( 8 And God is faithful to hold us through it all. Hugs to you!
@NewsyNancy - Thank you, my dear Nance! I can’t wait for it to get easier. And, I can’t wait for Christmas Break when they come home! You bet, I’ll enjoy every moment with them! I love you bunches and bunches!
@Richgem - Oh so good to hear from you Gail! Oh yes, we earn it all don’t we? Wow. Life is more interesting as we go isn’t it? Never a dull moment… ; ) I don’t know how people do it without the Lord. He is good. : ) Great hearing your thoughts Gail. Such a breath of fresh air to read down to earth blogs *happy sigh*
xxxxooooo Amelia
@thats_italian - You are so right…”never a dull moment”! And I’d have gone crazy nuts long ago if it wasn’t for Jesus holding me together and giving me the love and understanding to just get through each moment! Thank you for seeing this blog as I write it; down to earth. I like keepin’ it real without getting down and dirty. I’m itching to post again, but am waiting for the Spirit to move me. Love to you!