So, today is of course, the end of 2012.
I had hoped that by the end of this year, my hair color would’ve been worked out. It’s not much better. I’d thought my shape would be much thinner. not. I’d thought our yard would’ve been landscaped somewhat. not. I’d dreamed we’d move to a better place. nope. I wished that we could somehow go away for a fun time for a few days or even a week. Or that I’d earn a good amount of money through photography, or see my parents’ health improve tremendously or that my back east relatives would come out here and visit or that my brother-in-law would finally sell the family 5 acres or oh, that none of my friends would get cancer news or even maybe that the neighbor hoodlums would truly change their brain damaging ways. Oh yes, and that hubby would join me in the quest for getting in shape so that we don’t end up being a burden to ourselves or others. Then there’s the spiritual growth issue…how I thought maybe someone in the house would be the leader and we could look like some of my friends’ families…all together in a sweet, holy way without gliding around town under a Holier Than Thou haze.
Now, here’s the flip side.
Who really cares what color my HAIR is. Grey and blonde and faded brown works okay. It’s insanely expensive to get it “done”, so I am resorting to touching up with a mixture of peroxide, baking soda and olive oil. That works fair enough! My shape is slightly thinner and much stronger and I am much healthier. Hubby is his own boss and can do what he wants or not with his shape and condition. He is going to physical therapy to correct a shoulder issue before he has elbow surgery in February. The YARD landscaping or curb appeal is important to me and I will take that on myself when the weather is warmer. Ugly doesn’t make me happy. I will also create a nicer garden plot. I enjoyed the little that I had this year within those little fences! The DESIRE to MOVE is a ridiculous dream that can live with the magazine pictures in the trash can, and I do have a knack for decorating the little place we’ve lived in for so long. I am thankful, more than ever, that we have a place to call our home! The NEIGHBORHOODLUMS have calmed down a bit…it depends on what friends show up. At least their mom and I can say “hello, how are you, etc” again like we used to long ago because I went over there and we had an emotional visit in which we both apologized for mishandling situations. Hallelujah for that! PHOTOGRAPHY, I have decided, is not a money maker, especially when you’re ME and don’t have the heart to put people in a tighter financial bind for what amounts to just very nice snapshots. It’s 2 years later and one person never did pay me for a 3 hour session. Then there are the “like family” ones that I genuinely did out of the love I have for them. Photography is a passionate hobby and that’s that. My life is much, much better for it and for the joy in what God has shown me through the lens.
MY PARENTS have improved slightly and I will take that over anything. They are happy, yet my mom still lacks friends. She doesn’t like to get out and build relationships though. The pressure on me and hubby is still great- to provide occasional company, entertainment, transportation, etc. and the financial strain on us is greater. Any of the stress from all of that is washed away when I see my mom’s joy, receive kisses and hugs and appreciation from them and my sister who lives with them and is dependent on them. Our world has been changed a great deal because they are near us and I am feeling much more dependent on God for the comfort I need for my very personal reasons. No amount of mocha frapps will help me deal with my emotions that are rooted deeply in early childhood days and come up to bug me when I am with my parents. God has his reasons for this, and I am again, really grateful.
VACATION. really? What’s that? I go back in my mind, remembering the glorious 30th anniversary (May 3, 2010) we spent in and around Laguna Beach…yes, that week when we enjoyed meeting ABAHM (Jenny and her hubby Bob and the now famous David), Mary Hurlbut (Jenny’s sister) and slmret(Janet). If ONLY we could’ve stayed longer!!! But, we did go back. Crazy us! We took our kids with us in July (this was 2010) and they loved it. Now, we all want to go back. But it looks impossible. So, I go into my mind where those memories are. Another sweet memory from a sort-of vacation (long story) was meeting Down_onthefarm Cindy Forry in 2011. What A DEAR. And then this past August when we took our kids over to college in Texas, I got to meet the beautiful Gabrielle (redladybug). That trip was no vacation, let me tell you, but Gabrielle made one day more special because of our visit at the coffee shop. Then, later on, I met Shann and her hubby> WOnderful people! I love each one and the blessing I felt with time spent with each new friend.
MY FAMILY: I am truly grateful for my 2 sons, daughter-in-love, my daughter, my 5 grands…They are used by God to get to my heart. I love each one dearly and hope that they can each see the hope and love in and through Jesus this year like never before.
Two FRIENDS have received good news regarding their CANCER…clear, yet an acquaintance just told me on Saturday that she has Stage 3 breast cancer. I got all teary eyed emotional. This came “out of nowhere”. She’s been healthy and fit and trim. Boom. She asked me if I’d gotten my mammo yet. I barely got “no” out of my mouth when she leaned forward and firmly told me “DO IT!!!” And so I will.
SPIRITUALITY: My motto is: Focus on Jesus and who he is. I have learned a lot this year. Hubby and I have read several good books and have studied a few things that jumped into our hearts. Like God’s grace. I do see where we have been slightly pulled by some people’s influence and I could see where that might be a problem, so I pull the other way. Everyone is different and is allowed to make his and her own decision as to when and how to worship. I refuse to change who I believe in; I believe in the Creator of the universe and I can see God’s glory in His creation. I am dying to see the true glory of it all some day without all of the pollution and mess we have to deal with…all the sorrow, etc. Someday, soon, we’ll be released from all the muck and we’ll experience a new place, full of God’s glory. My hope is in Jesus…his love is true and everlasting. My faith is like riding in the car with hubby driving on a very foggy road and he can barely see the line that divides the lanes and we know we’re going uphill around a curve, but are we really? and he just continues to steadily drive forward, trusting that we’ll end up in the place we’re supposed to be in.
REJOICE in THE NEW YEAR
Comments (19)
This post reminds me of the song “Count Your Blessings.” May God richly bless you in the New Year.
I am so “with you” on a lot of this!
We just have to keep our eyes on Him. I have many dreams and wishes as well, but I have to trust that He knows what I need, and that He will supply. My dream is to be able to see my children and grandchildren more, but that is hard and very expensive, when we live in three different countries! I am thankful for all God has given. I am so glad for friends and doing a work that matters, and each day when I have fresh mercies. Blessings to you and your family. May you continue to find joy in the journey.
This is a wonderful post, I love it!
I just finished writing mine out and it too sounded very much the same, I am very thankful for all I have. He has blessed our live abundantly and we need to be a little more thankful. Thanks so much for sharing this post with us, Gail.
i’ve been wanting to tell you how happy i am to have your smiling family in my house! great picture. and i’m loving your flipside here gail. i was startled as i was reading along to see my own name. meeting you was a treat for me. a fond memory and highlight—YOU are the dear.
happy with you about so much. hearing difficulty too, so sorry about your friend’s recent diagnosis. and feeling this, “Someday, soon, we’ll be released from all the muck and we’ll experience a new place, full of God’s glory. My hope is in Jesus…his love is true and everlasting.”
happy new year my friend! hugs. enjoy HIS favor.
@ata_grandma - I’m naming them one by one! It sure does help the natural urge to complain. Happy New Year to You!
@DanishDoll - This is a great comment !May we ALL find the joy in the journey..it IS there! Doing a work that matters…that must bring you a sense of purpose, which is something that so many of us in our older years seem to lose sight of. In fact, just this morning, I looked at my bed and said to nobody, “Why am I here?” I wasn’t upset, but I definitely felt alone and insignificant and powerless to change a situation that could possibly become unbearable. Thankfully, Jesus reminded me that his burden is light and he will carry me/us through. I will ask him to allow you to see your family more often, no matter how impossible that might seem. Thank you for your encouragement!!!!!
@oldfatgramma - Thank you, Linda! Hugs! I will get over there and read yours in a bit. You’ve been a blessing to me!
@down_onthefarm - What can I say? I’m smiling ear to ear, stretching my stretchable skin even further because you make me smile! We both have had our “stuff” to deal with and I love your compassionate heart and understanding and prayers and “knowing” and the way you put things into words that get to my heart’s depth. I, too am happy to have your beautiful family’s picture card in MY house, in a special spot, allowing me to see that you had some fun, memory making times and that you are smiling ever so beautifully, still. And now, here come the tears. (I am also more weepy now!) I love you!
Whew! you sure got into this post lol…..loved it, hey who cares about all the pedi things all that counts is we have each other, we have a roof over our heads…well at least right now we do lol. I haven’t put any color on my hair for over 7 years I love it! Yes it is costly. We have to be more frugle and make right choices. But God is good all the time…he has blessed me & mine so much I Praise his holy name.
Happy New Year my dear friend & God bless you & your hubby
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Oh Gail. You have such an incredible heart!
I wish I could send you away on vacation somewhere wonderful. Now…if you can get to Chicago…
I know of a place you can stay..for free. (and we’ll even feed you.
Life can be hard, but yes oh yes there is always a flip side.
You are always so sweet and encouraging. I’m glad to know you…even if it’s just online for now.
one day we will meet..either here on earth, or when we are in heaven.
Happy New Year to you.
@Mymanyblessings - Being frugal and making better choices is the way to go, especially now! It does help, doesn’t it when we can focus on what we’re thankful for! Keep your chin up and I hope things go better for you this year! Hugs!
@Elizabethmarie_1 - You are such a doll, inside and out and because of what I have read in your wonderful bloggings, I look forward to when we can meet! A trip to Chicago would be SO FUN and I do believe you’d take good care of us! I truly look forward to heaven and am hoping we can go any day now. However, if we don’t, I can face each day with the Victory sign etched in my mind!
this is WONDERFUL!!!! You hot on so many things that are so close to my own heart. I pray that your 2013 is richly blessed. Love you LOTS LOTS LOTS!!!!!
Our dreams surrendered to reality. That’s hard. But I love to see your beautiful heart in this post, your choice to see the incredible good.
Your family photo is really happy and sweet. So glad I know you.
what liz said, you have an incredible heart. yes! and it encourages me again and again..
love you and happy new year my friend~
@victoriantomboy - Isn’t it wonderful that our hearts beat similarly and God holds them, loving each one of us unconditionally whether we trust him completely or not?! I look forward to meeting you someday!!! Hugs!
@quiet_hearts - I want to hug you and tell you that whatever your surrendered dreams are and whatever your reality is, you are covered and surrounded in a love that does what is best. But, I’m sure you already know that! I am glad you said “Our dreams surrendered to reality” because that is the way it is here and it isn’t such a horrendous reality. I still find God’s blessings, the joy in Jesus. You are a blessing and you always say something to remind me of what I need to think about and chew on! I like how you describe our family photo! At least we were having fun, as opposed to the family photos of the younger years!
@grace_to_be - YOU have encouraged ME, many, many, many (how many times am I allowed to type MANY?) times!!!! I love you bunches!
Good Evening, Gail.
In my ladder days, family is more important to me than ever. We now have great grand children!!
I am always on the alert for those who can influence my marriage in negative way–they mean well as a rule, but it starts conflict. My now have about a 2 hour ‘together’ time in the morning sipping coffee and sharing. That is helping a lot.
I also believe as you do. There are some nice church goers in Xanga and they open about their faith–I just do not agree with their approach. I am a little edgy and sometimes too carnal. I have no excuse, but I try not to be a hypocrite.
Wishing you, hubby, and family a God Blessed 2013.
frank