This pond appears to have a sheet of plastic wrap on it. At times, I feel as if that is me; living with a protective sheet of plastic on myself. I have lived well since November
yet, there have been difficulties. That’s life here. Thankfully, I am focusing on what is true and good. Right now, what is true and good is that we are loved. We have choices to make. We do what we can to be healthier, though sometimes, I still need that occasional fattening mocha. Fat cells still cling to my body. That will not look pretty when I wear my MOTHER of the BRIDE dress! (I am, however, eating more carefully.).
On December 19th, after requesting and receiving our blessing, a special young man proposed to our daughter. That was a very special moment and Christmas was mostly about what love and marriage and wedding plans would look like rather than the typical Christmas. And that was fine by me! The wedding will be in June, outdoors, and we pray for no stormy weather!
Weather here has been so weird this year. Temperatures in the 60s with no rain means it feels like a dry, dry Spring. I actually love it, but I need to water my bulbs to make sure they bloom nicely. Because of the warmth, I am pining for the beach. Oh, I do so need that kind of a getaway, yet I shouldn’t complain. At least our time in Texas in December was FUN! We did the Indoor Skydiving at IFly in Austin. Now I know; if I ever need a complete release of tension, do IFly. I laughed hysterically when I came out of the fly tube. It was so funny to have that happen to me the 2 times I “flew”. Hysterical laughing after being brave enough to go through with what could be a scary and dangerous experience was my entire being’s way of letting go. Facing and conquering fear was very important to me and definitely moved me forward, emotionally, away from the grief of my mother’s death. Afterwards, I wondered if she was cheering for me from where she is. I imagined her big grin. Maybe the Texas experience, with Brianne’s graduation, the indoor skydiving, the eating at different eateries, meeting Brianne’s future In-Laws, taking pictures in different places, the airplane flights…was all better than a quick trip to the ocean would be. The hard part sometimes, is coming home and getting pulled back into the Home groove with all this pushing and pulling from people who need us for many different reasons. I truly appreciate being needed and wanted but only to a certain level. Then, I am done, finished, needing a whole new break. For now, I don’t see that break happening, and I am still “on call” for my dad and the things he wants accomplished. Maybe after this next week, I can declare myself UNavailable for a little while. I do need to be with people who are not pushing and pulling me, to get out and share time together for a hike with our cameras, coffee/mocha at a favorite cozy, funky coffee shop while we catch up on the latest news (without gossiping of course, because gossiping is just wrong and so passe), walking around the courthouse square because we all need to get some air and extra exercise, stopping at the local women’s shelter to deliver bread and tortillas, going to the Griefshare group,….sitting around doing nothing is not in my reperoitoire.
Alright now. I have used up my words.