December 29, 2009
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Up Close
Some people are huggers. I am one of them. My primary way of showing affection is to hug. I suppose it's not only because I do love people and want that connection, but it's also because I NEED that connection. I have learned who the non-huggers are and have been kind enough to justt pat them on the shoulder because I'd never want to make them feel uncomfortable. That sensitivity comes from having had my own boundaries invaded as a young girl. Some people just don't "get it" and they burst through everyone's bubble, wreaking havoc wherever they go. There is someone in my world who tends to do this to me; a mega hugger who wants to hug me and I feel uncomfortable with this hugger. Only that hugger is hugging with his eyeballs. As in looking at me far longer or more often than he should be. I "catch" him at it and I don't do a thing to provoke him. I'm always chatting with people, hugging and greeting people and there he is. Ew. So, we are coming up on New Year's Eve and hubby has invited all these people to our house for a party. Including this "hugger" and his impossibly chatty wife who knows absolutley everything. No, I am not worried. I am a big girl and I know that my comfort level is in the Lord's hands. I do want to be a gracious hostess and have everyone come and enjoy our new kitchen, which they have all prayed for!!! My hubby is aware of my discomfort but doesn't really understand a woman's God-given intuition to sense a man with a problem. In this group situation, it should be okay, but I wish we could just have done without this one couple. But later they'd hear about the party and know they were left out and that wouldn't be good either. They are like the pine needles in a bowl of berries. But that's life, isn't it!?
Comments (12)
Great pictures, Gail!! I think we're going to enjoy our new toys! You must be relieved to have the kitchen project done and now with a beautiful new kitchen ~Yay!
That's a difficult situation. Hmmm, I'm not sure what I'd do. I can imagine it's very uncomfortable. Does the wife not notice his behavior? :/
Girl, you're still up??? Isn't it like eleven thirty back there? { 8 I do need to practice with my lenses; my pics aren't near as good as yours. But anyway, as for the man's wife and if she notices how he is...she's so busy yacking all the time, I really don't think she sees it. But in the past, she has made snide remarks to him. It's obvious they're not happy and she knows he has some sort of problem. What's actually kind of funny though is that I am not all that great looking, but for some reason he sure likes looking at me with his big icky puppy dog eyes. Now see, the later it gets, I'll start laughing about the whole thing! Love ya..GAil
Wonderful pics! Hope there's protection in the numbers for Friday night!
@slmret - Thank you, Janet! I like that..."protection in the numbers"!!! Love, GAil
I've had similiar situation and I was telling an older lady about it because I was so darn uncomfortable, she said "pretend you are blind and deaf" I didn't get it at first but when I simply refused to look this person's way or in any way respond to inappropiate comments, he tired of me when he got no reaction.
I can tell from your sweet comments that you are a hugger! Hope you have a fun party w/out any uncomfortable moments!
I'm with ya Gail. Been there too and it does give you more sensitivity with people because of it. I'm surprised your husband didn't "side" with ya...and have to say, better safe than sorry ... I wouldn't have invited them. Red flags are red flags in or out of church. May your home remain your safe haven and your other friends keep him busy enough to keep his nasty eyes off you and your kids...or expose him completely!
Bless you Gail. Hope you party is a blessing, and there is safety in numbers. Keep showing the light, maybe his eyeballs will get over sensitive if all he sees is Jesus, or even healed!
I have faced this dilemna on ocassion and the best policy for me, has been to avoid any eye contact and to avoid speaking to him...of course he wasn't in my church or SS class! People who don't respect other's boundaries are YUCKY anyways- male or female. I agree with everyone- there's safety in numbers....do NOT invite them over alone- ever- without the crowd. Happy New Year's Party- wish I were there to party with ya all!
Like the new look on your blog! where do you get the background and the clip art (thanksgiving) at the top?
Definitely know what you mean about those kinds of guys. Been there done that. I hope it isn't too awkward and your have a fun time anyway! Happy New Year!
Yay for a new kitchen!
How about just holding out your hand for shaking to all the guests... not feeling huggy tonight. Maybe your hubby could stand beside you when The Hugger arrives. Maybe that would help.