Month: May 2013

  • What Thyme is It? Life in the Day…

    This is lemon scented Thyme. I love the teeny tiny flowers, which I have brought closer to my eyes with the use of my macro tube set. Someday, I’d love to own a true macro lens, but the tube set works well enough. The fascination of peeking into a tiny world will never leave me.
    How does God see me? What matters more to me is his love and what I do with it.
    Today, I was emotionally and a bit physically tired from all the big ugly news. However, when my mom told me that the food in their house didn’t appeal to her, I asked if a little roast beef might be good. No, she told me. “Maybe a smoothie”.  I kicked my tired self into gear and whipped up a luscious banana berry smoothie, packed it in ice and drove over to my parents’ house. I delivered it to her in her bed. Much to my delight, she was on her cell phone, laughing at whatever my dear daughter was telling her.
    Timing. It was more than perfect. My daughter’s kindness in reaching out to her Mommom while I delivered a much needed smoothie. The Laughter! YAY! I SO needed to hear her laugh! She’s facing a rough time. Time that will be all about pain, more pain. Treatments. Hair loss and who knows what else. 
    Thyme makes me think of Time. What am I doing with it? Am I showing compassion…enough of it? There are teeny tiny ways of helping that turn out to be huge to the person receiving the kindness. Mom needs help, Dad needs help, older sister has her own issues. I’ve been saying, “We WILL do this, we WILL get through this” as if I am my own cheerleader.. Pray I don’t curl up in the closet and have a breakdown.. Wait. Maybe I NEED to do just that. And then pull it together and soldier on, not because I have to but because I believe in giving everything I have to help my family.
    Two of my daughter’s friends have offered to make dinner for me and hubby and red-haired son on Thursday, the day I take my mom for her ultrasound biopsy. My younger sis and brother are making the 2 hour drive to be there, too.  Kindness……it sure does help.  Make the most of the time you have.
  • A Life in the Day

    When I snapped this photo through the car window, I loved the look of the angel wing clouds and how the sky appeared to be opening.  Today, my soul feels opened like that sky. I am releasing the sadness I feel so that it doesn’t take over my desire to live life as fully as I am able. And now, I am going to be helping my mom live life as fully as she is able, more than ever. Her doctor called today… a Sunday of a holiday weekend. (You know it can’t be great news).
    She does have cancer. In 3 places. For the 3rd time. This is the life in this day.
  • The Scent, My Friday

        Thanking God, today is where I can just open my nostrils and sniff in the scent of flowers, herbs, my favorite eau de….. the scent of my favorite person in all the world’s neck. There is so much comfort and happiness in these scents that I love. I mourn for those who cannot sniff and smell and enjoy the scent that would put them in a happy place. I like to sometimes think of the Holy Spirit as a scent that far exceeds any on this earth and that someday I will be completely surrounded by and soaked in it.
  • iNeed, iWant, iWonder….

    what God will be doing with me today, tomorrow, next week. Yesterday, as I was spilling my guts to a couple of pastor wife friends, I said, “I know that if you want to climb a mountain, you must climb, then fall down, then get back up and climb, fall down, get back up and climb.”   But right now, I just don’t feel like continuing to climb the mountain. I need a valley of respite. I want a vacation. I wonder if I can experience bliss, THIS day. Or maybe tomorrow?

    Hubby went to the Endocrinologist a couple weeks ago. He received answers but no cure. This morning he went to the Cardiologist. Again, an answer but no cure. “This just happens to people”, he was told. Well, Honey, that’s not good enough for me. I WANT a CURE!   iNEED  my energetic, happy, fun, healthy man back.
    My mom has yet another health crisis. her doctor believes her cancer has returned. I took her to the surgeon on Thursday, or was it Wednesday. (losing my mind here). This coming Thursday, I’ll take her to have an MRI and a PET scan.    iHOPE for answers….and strength…and grace…and patience, as this extraordinary situation comes on top of the other things iHAVE to do and take care of.
    My daughter-in-love wants to be a wedding photographer. She wants me to help. She landed us a job for June 22nd for a casual ceremony by the lake. I am nearly having seizures from the sheer stress of this whole photographing a wedding. iAMNOT a wedding photographer!!! SO if any of you want to come here and fill in for me, please DO!
    Tomorrow, hubby and I are supposed to babysit the 2 little Grandboys. We were supposed to have all 5 of the Wonders but I begged out of that, considering the stress and exhaustion we’ve been under. Thankfully, Daughter-in-Love is understanding enough to take the other 3 with her. iTHINK this is how it’ll have to be now when it comes to helping her with childcare. We are just whipped out now. Yes, whipped. And wiped.
    iLOVE that my red-haired boy is home. He is catching up on sleep, food, fun with friends and working here and there ’til something solid happens. Our daughter is living in Texas, working, working, working and taking more classes. She is a joy!
    Changes are what helps life move along, whether you like the change or not. In the end, iKNOW I’ll be at the top of that mountain. 
  • To Texas and Back

       We drove for many miles. Two nights in motels with many hills between them and finally we were where we wanted to be; with our college kids! With only one day to be there, we packed it full with packing THEM so that they can both move into the next phase of their lives. That day was the 3rd of May, hubby’s and my 33rd wedding anniversary. We packed, ate out with our kids and daughter’s boyfriend, took pictures and laughed a lot. Hubby and I and Ryan-our-red-head son left to head home on the 4th. For many miles, we drove, spending 2 nights in motels, to finally arrive where I didn’t really want to go. Home. Why not? Because I wasn’t finished with having fun in Texas and because my girl stayed over there. This, however, is where I am supposed to be and I must think about what I’m thankful for in this place. Today, it rained and my goodness, the air smelled so good. That refreshment for the earth made my soul smile.