February 18, 2013

February 17, 2013

  • So I Was Given Age 28. This’ll Be Brief

    My life at age 28 was nice. By that time, I’d been married 5 years and was 2 years and more into motherhood. I never owned my own car but drove my husband’s old icky grey Impala. We lived in a modest townhouse in East Phoenix and enjoyed that place until new people moved into the building and the roach problem began. I was dying to get out of that place, and thankfully, the next year we moved to where we are now. My world was very small because most of my people were at work. My son, however, made my small world delightful with his brightness, curiosity, and devotion. Most of my time was spent with him; playing, guiding and a few times playing with a buddy. I’d take him to his Grandma’s house anytime I had the rare hair appointment or a doctor or dental appointment. Then there was the day we rushed to the hospital because Jonathan thought he’d try to “fly” from one piece of furniture to another. That is the day I learned about how much blood can gush from a head wound. I also realized that this little boy that God blessed me and my husband with, was the most precious gift I’d ever been given and I stood there begging God to not take him from me. Jonathan will be 30 this summer. I am so grateful for him! There were times when he seemed to be my little buddy. Today, he is definitely a friend I cherish.  If I had to go back to being 28 again, I would change 2 things about myself. I would drop the critical, judgemental “robes” I wore and drape myself instead with understanding and gentleness.

February 11, 2013

  • The Sunshine In My Soul

    Hello! The snow is melting in our neck of the neighborhood. The sun is shining brilliantly. A brisk walk might have to be done on the treadmill/clothes hangar. Yesterday was not a bright and shiny day and I felt like I’d run into an oncoming train. Where did that pain come from? Is it because I am FiftyHmm? Saturday was fun though. We babysat our 5 Grandwonders and they were the biggest to littlest blessings in our day. One of these days, the littlest guy will have a hole in his cheek because I will have lost control and eaten a chunk out of him.

    When certain people randomly pray for you or they pray for you because they have felt that certain unmistakable nudge, things happen. Sometimes you don’t get to see or know the results right away, but God is always doing something!  I have seen it and felt it. I’ve been the random praying person and the Felt the Nudge praying person. I have also been the one who has been prayed for and have received the blessings from those prayers. No, we didn’t win the lottery. We didn’t buy my dream puppy. We didn’t get a new house or even a new fence put up. Nothing at all big in the material world sense.  Money is tight and we’ve still bought groceries and have 2 more grandchild birthdays in the next 2 weeks. We get by. We talk about how to generate income. He has attempted several things despite his limitations. God provides as long as we are diligent. We are blessed here in our granny house. Hubby still does not have any special spoken words for me but is considerate and loving in other ways. I have to choose to ignore his stubbornness. I am certainly not perfect (though we ARE saints!)! I do “speak” his love language, because I truly care about that.  This is all nothing compared to what all is going on in the lives of some of our friends and acquaintances and I have to focus on being thankful, and then reach out to encourage other people.
    I bravely ventured to Wallyworld with hubby today. That wasn’t easy because we both generally avoid going there. We knew, however that prices would be lower for the flour and Hershey’s cocoa and hairspray (I really can’t go without that). Everybody and their cousin was there. I ran into people (friends and former co-worker) I hadn’t seen in awhile and was nearly blown away by one particular gal who blessed me (my spirit!) with her loving, positive, encouraging words. Jesus came through, oh absolutely. I got choked up and teary eyed and hugged her and thanked her. I know she has NO IDEA how much that moment touched me. Then shortly after, my sweet daughter-in-love texted me with more encouraging words. My GOODness! I wish everyone could feel this way! 
    So, this is Monday. Once upon a few years ago or more, I hated Mondays because hubby had to go back to work. Now, I love Mondays because, hmmm, I guess it just feels like a beginning to the real world week and we make our real world look more like what living with Jesus is about. Don’t worry, I’m not dillusional…not everyday looks like a Jesus is IN this day! But none of it is pretend. All of it is where we realize we live in Grace, not in legalism…in Love, not in judgement (oo-oo-oo, that one is really hard sometimes!) We are holy because Christ IS our holiness. We want to “grow in the expression of holiness in our thoughts and attitudes and even in our actions” (Steve McVey)…We want to act more like the person we already are…Christ Jesus in and through us!
    Valentine’s Day makes me sweat anxiety bullets but this year, I believe I am focused enough to do something special for my parents and sister who have now lived here almost a year and a half. A meal that looks expensive but isn’t would be nice. A small bouquet of rosemary from the garden with maybe 3 flowers in it…candles on the table with Grandmom’s pretty dishes, romantic music….and a heart shaped cake. I hope that all works out! It feels really nice to be in the place in my heart where I like to do things to make them feel loved and I no longer feel the old fear that being with them brought up in me. What a relief! Negative fear is from the devil.
    The clouds have hidden the afternoon sun but the bright outline is glorious. Good-bye!  .

January 27, 2013

  • I wOuLd Walk in Duck Doo-Doo

    and mud to take some pictures. The sky was glorious and the air was cold. The ducks were few, but they were there. The water invited me to the ripply edge and the hills beyond said a late afternoon hello. As hubby waited nearby in the Xterra, I happily traipsed around and ran along a path to catch a scene before the sunshine changed the scene again. Something in the air seemed to tauntingly ask me, “Don’t you wish you could just STAY here?” After the last shot from this particular spot, I got in the car but took off my muddy-doodooey shoes and put them in a plastic bag. Then, of course, I said to my hubby, “I wISSHH I could just STAY here!”  But then the park security truck came along and we knew it was time to leave. The place closes at almost sundown on cold days.  We then drove on a road that is near the other lake and I committed my “drive-by shootings”.  Coming home and into the house was nice because Kilo was so very happy to see us. You’d think we’d been gone for 10 days! I am grateful for:

    a warm and cozy house, a husband who drives me to “locations”, a sweet puppy dog, my loving parents and sister who we spent time with today (after so many years of not getting the love from the parents-they are making up for it), the chili dinner with homemade bread that hubby made (he does have very wonderful qualities), and I am even grateful that I have to go to the dentist tomorrow and get my new crown put in (it better fit better than the temp one-which broke 2 days after it was put on).
    Seasons…that’s a big word in my world right now. We live in Arizona and guess what. We enjoy 4 seasons. And already, most people are sick of “winter” and begging for Spring. I am in a certain season that makes life a tad bit interesting (I’m being very sweet right now) and wish I could go back 10 years. But this is where we are, this is “where it’s at” (oh, dreadful grammar). Today, life is better than it was a few days ago, that is FOR SURE.

January 26, 2013

  • There’s Gold in Them Thar Hills!

     

    Oh yes, indeedy, there is. You, my dear blogging buddies are like gold to me. You shimmer and shine right in front of my eyes. You are worth more than your weight. You encourage and empathize, you feel my pain and then take me to a place that is better than where I was. You are treasures of a different kind, never to be tossed aside by me because you are beautiful on the inside and out. Thank you for your love. Hugs from me, the girl by Goldwater Lake….Richgem.

January 24, 2013

  • Really, I’m Fine. (I lie)

    Whatever “fine” is. After awhile (days and days and days of life), I get really tired of being passive. People get spoiled and take advantage of me. Then I say “no” and then I am the bad guy. Sheesh! Running away for awhile is SUCH an appealing thought. But it’s just a fleeting thought. This is where I am to be, to change, to grow, to make sure i am not the one taking advantage of anyone. Showing appreciation and using encouraging words is pretty much what we all need, even though a particular someone I know is not someone who would like to admit that or participate. So, yes, I am fine, but not as fine as I’d like to be. Maybe this little bump in the road is a blessing in disguise. We shall see. I’m just so sick of feeling like i am nothing but a dried up rose to the person who should be telling me that I am the most beautiful rose. Don’t worry, I’ll get over it. I stifle it and move on, being all stoic and making sure that the people around me feel special because i truly know what it feels like to NOT feel special.

January 11, 2013

  • This Thursday Tidbit: Alive

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    “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that, because the world needs people who have come alive.” Howard Thurman

    That is why I come here to take pictures. Sometimes, I bring people here to be photographed. There are walls of rock to be climbed, rough paths to be hiked and or ridden on with mountain bikes. There are walking paths and of course the beautiful body of water for canoeing, kayaking, fishing…but no swimming. A variety of fowl live here and who knows what other animals and critters hang out here! The place is alive! When I am here, I feel exhilarated; like I could go on and be better than I was before I got here….willing and able to help people, do more for my family and friends, be more creative and industrious…be kind and positive, gentle and encouraging.

    Tomorrow, I plan to go there again to see what it looks like after or during the storm.

     

January 9, 2013

  • Wednesday’s Word: Believe

    There have been times lately, that I have chatted with Jesus and simply believed, with NO doubt, that certain things would be taken care of. Believing can be such a blessing.  I was at one of my favorite places again and as, always, couldn’t resist another shot of the rock on top. I love that rock because it reminds me that it takes faith to believe that it is not going to fall off. Simple as that.

January 5, 2013

  • In My Robe, Saying Good-Bye

    Saying “good-bye” this morning was tough, although I felt confident that my kids would make the drive safely to El Paso tonight. That’s only almost halfway to their destination. by themselves…THAT’s the part that I DO NOT like. Through FOG…yes, we get fog here in our mile high town, but my two younger kids never really had to drive through that because the foggy area is 20 minutes away from our “hood”.  (Although I am remembering that Brianne did have to drive through it in the town where the University is.) You know how it is when you get that last minute urge to sit somebody down and drill that person with every speck of advice and guidance you can pick out of your brain? Well, my brain was foggy this morning, so I didn’t sit anyone down for the drill. Again, I put my kids in God’s hands. Poor Kilo knew they were leaving and he wasn’t happy, either. I was brave and smiling, but at one point, I did get “emotional”. Now. I promise the next post will feature much better photos, but hey, THIS IS real life! 

December 31, 2012

  • No Significant Changes

      So, today is of course, the end of 2012. 

    I had hoped that by the end of this year, my hair color would’ve been worked out. It’s not much better. I’d thought my shape would be much thinner. not.   I’d thought our yard would’ve been landscaped somewhat. not. I’d dreamed we’d move to a better place. nope. I wished that we could somehow go away for a fun time for a few days or even a week. Or that I’d earn a good amount of money through photography, or see my parents’ health improve tremendously or that my back east relatives would come out here and visit or that my brother-in-law would finally sell the family 5 acres or oh, that none of my friends would get cancer news or even maybe that the neighbor hoodlums would truly change their brain damaging ways. Oh yes, and that hubby would join me in the quest for getting in shape so that we don’t end up being a burden to ourselves or others. Then there’s the spiritual growth issue…how I thought maybe someone in the house would be the leader and we could look like some of my friends’ families…all together in a sweet, holy way without gliding around town under a Holier Than Thou haze.
    Now, here’s the flip side.
    Who really cares what color my HAIR is. Grey and blonde and faded brown works okay. It’s insanely expensive to get it “done”, so I am resorting to touching up with a mixture of peroxide, baking soda and olive oil. That works fair enough! My shape is slightly thinner and much stronger and I am much healthier. Hubby is his own boss and can do what he wants or not with his shape and condition. He is going to physical therapy to correct a shoulder issue before he has elbow surgery in February. The YARD landscaping or curb appeal is important to me and I will take that on myself when the weather is warmer. Ugly doesn’t make me happy. I will also create a nicer garden plot. I enjoyed the little that I had this year within those little fences! The DESIRE to MOVE is a ridiculous dream that can live with the magazine pictures in the trash can, and I do have a knack for decorating the little place we’ve lived in for so long. I am thankful, more than ever, that we have a place to call our home! The NEIGHBORHOODLUMS have calmed down a bit…it depends on what friends show up. At least their mom and I can say “hello, how are you, etc” again like we used to long ago because I went over there and we had an emotional visit in which we both apologized for mishandling situations. Hallelujah for that! PHOTOGRAPHY, I have decided, is not a money maker, especially when you’re ME and don’t have the heart to put people in a tighter financial bind for what amounts to just very nice snapshots. It’s 2 years later and one person never did pay me for a 3 hour session. Then there are the “like family” ones that I genuinely did out of the love I have for them. Photography is a passionate hobby and that’s that. My life is much, much better for it and for the joy in what God has shown me through the lens.
    MY PARENTS have improved slightly and I will take that over anything. They are happy, yet my mom still lacks friends. She doesn’t like to get out and build relationships though. The pressure on me and hubby is still great- to provide occasional company, entertainment, transportation, etc. and the financial strain on us is greater. Any of the stress from all of that is washed away when I see my mom’s joy, receive kisses and hugs and appreciation from them and my sister who lives with them and is dependent on them. Our world has been changed a great deal because they are near us and I am feeling much more dependent on God for the comfort I need for my very personal reasons. No amount of mocha frapps will help me deal with my emotions that are rooted deeply in early childhood days and come up to bug me when I am with my parents. God has his reasons for this, and I am again, really grateful.  
    VACATION. really? What’s that? I go back in my mind, remembering the glorious 30th anniversary (May 3, 2010) we spent in and around Laguna Beach…yes, that week when we enjoyed meeting ABAHM (Jenny and her hubby Bob and the now famous David), Mary Hurlbut (Jenny’s sister) and slmret(Janet). If ONLY we could’ve stayed longer!!! But, we did go back. Crazy us! We took our kids with us in July (this was 2010) and they loved it. Now, we all want to go back. But it looks impossible. So, I go into my mind where those memories are. Another sweet memory from a sort-of vacation (long story) was meeting Down_onthefarm Cindy Forry in 2011. What A DEAR. And then this past August when we took our kids over to college in Texas, I got to meet the beautiful Gabrielle (redladybug). That trip was no vacation, let me tell you, but Gabrielle made one day more special because of our visit at the coffee shop. Then, later on, I met Shann and her hubby> WOnderful people! I love each one and the blessing I felt with time spent with each new friend.
     MY FAMILY:  I am truly grateful for my 2 sons, daughter-in-love, my daughter, my 5 grands…They are used by God to get to my heart. I love each one dearly and hope that they can each see the hope and love in and through Jesus this year like never before.
    Two FRIENDS have received good news regarding their CANCER…clear, yet an acquaintance just told me on Saturday that she has Stage 3 breast cancer. I got all teary eyed emotional. This came “out of nowhere”. She’s been healthy and fit and trim. Boom. She asked me if I’d gotten my mammo yet. I barely got “no” out of my mouth when she leaned forward and firmly told me “DO IT!!!”  And so I will.
    SPIRITUALITY:  My motto is: Focus on Jesus and who he is.    I have learned a lot this year. Hubby and I have read several good books and have studied a few things that jumped into our hearts. Like God’s grace. I do see where we have been slightly pulled by some people’s influence and I could see where that might be a problem, so I pull the other way. Everyone is different and is allowed to make his and her own decision as to when and how to worship. I refuse to change who I believe in; I believe in the Creator of the universe and I can see God’s glory in His creation. I am dying to see the true glory of it all some day without all of the pollution and mess we have to deal with…all the sorrow, etc. Someday, soon, we’ll be released from all the muck and we’ll experience a new place, full of God’s glory. My hope is in Jesus…his love is true and everlasting. My faith is like riding in the car with hubby driving on a very foggy road and he can barely see the line that divides the lanes and we know we’re going uphill around a curve, but are we really? and he just continues to steadily drive forward, trusting that we’ll end up in the place we’re supposed to be in.
    REJOICE in THE NEW YEAR

December 13, 2012

  • Gotta Wake up!

    The day is moving right along and I am still in the missmatched jammies and fuzzy pink robe. My head feels full….of sleepiness, ideas trying to come through, schedule for today, prayers for Brianne’s safety as she drives to the big city to meet with previous college friends and shop for Christmas gifts, and will she be sweet and bring me back a cupcake from the famous Sprinkles in Scottsdale? (like, i really need it).
    Inspiration from a few friends is nice…inspiration to decorate with things I and the family love/loves. Inspiration to not judge others and just let people be who they are and reap their own consequences (though I do believe in issuing a little guidance), inspiration to study my group photography for an upcoming shoot for a lady I highly respect (me shivering with the fear of failure), inspiration to cook a well-rounded meal at least 3 times a week (though food prices are ridiculous),  and last but not least I’d like to inspire others to live each moment like it could be the last one left. Now, I’ll get up and get ready to take on the day!

December 10, 2012

  • The Happiness in this Corner

    The elation I felt, after a long night of prayer is something to write home about. Ryan and Brianne drove away from their college town on Thursday afternoon.  God sent a guardian in the form of a State Trooper to escort them for about 150 miles. Brianne thought she was having to pull over because of a headlight that was out. But no. Trooper said she was out of gas and wondered if Brianne could help her. Trooper gave Brianne her card and Brianne and Ryan went to a nearby town/city? to get a can full of gas and they took it back to where the Trooper was waiting. Trooper gratefully took the gas. (She told my daughter to go ahead and fill up her own tank and my daughter couldn’t allow herself to do it).  After all was said and done, Brianne and Ryan took off. Long story short, Trooper was always nearby for all those miles ahead, flashing her lights to move people (tractor trailers, etc.) out of the way of the left lane so that Brianne could drive ahead, although Brianne refused to speed. Am I amazed that this situation happened? Absolutely, but I KNEW God would watch over my kids. I faithfully prayed to Jesus to send protective angels out to the road to make it safe for them. God said YES!
    They arrived home at around 11:00A.M. Friday. Dead tired, but from the picture I took, you really can see how happy they were to get home and take it all in. Kilo was so body twisting, wiggly excited to see them!
    Now, I feel like it’s time to celebrate Christmas. The Courthouse and entire Square are all lit up and most people around here seem to be in that festive mood! There’s also a chance for snow this weekend! That’ll be GREAT for pictures! I really hope we can get our own little family portrait done!

December 4, 2012

  • My Day With The elf!

    This was something to do to keep me busy and allow my silliness to eek out a bit. He saw me do a few dishes. He wanted to be involved. He happily sat on my daughter’s freshly made bed. He was so excited to hear she and her brother are coming home soon that he got spastic and ended up in the chandelier. Then he wanted to take over a few pictures of his own. He needs lessons. His foot is in all of the shots he took. After all of our activities, he became exhausted and laid down for a little nap under his favorite tree.  

    Thank you, Tamy at #WildWomanoftheWest for the inspiration!

December 2, 2012

  • December…Goodness!

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    That scene is part of our town’s Courthouse Square. Today, there were fewer gold leaves on the trees because the breeze has sent them flying. Sometimes I get grumpy about where I live. But most of the time, I am grateful to live here where its easy to find beauty and to appreciate the beauty in the ugly.

    Now, thanks to WildWomanoftheWest, I will be digging out my Elf on the Shelf elf and doing my own version of fun things with him. This little project will keep my silly mental wheels spinning. And that’s a good thing.

November 29, 2012

  • Turkey’s Been Eaten, Life Moves Forward!

    Dad’s butchering skills are still in order, although he took alot longer at it than he used to! He also nibbled quite a bit, which irritated poor hubby. My turkey roasting skills are NOT good; I should have removed it when hubby suggested it. But, I was too busy fussing with the potatoes and green beans and stuffing and the cranberry jelled thingy and the table setting, etc. At least the turkey tasted good. Actually, everything was delicious and mom, dad and sis enjoyed the meal with hubby and me. It really was nice to get to finally use Grandmom’s dishes. Oh, what it took to get those dishes out from under the house, where at some point in time, a sewage accident took place and some of that muck got into a cracked plastic bin full of Jonathan’s Awana awards and a variety of distinguished trophies.  Someday, absolutely none of our stuff will matter. Only being with Jesus will.

November 10, 2012

  • Like We nEEded Another Project

    After I stumble out of bed in the morning, I open up the shades on the window and take a look around to see what’s going on out there. Actually, I can’t see clearly for the first 2 minutes or so. Once the blur leaves my eyes, I can appreciate the view. Usually, there are birds flying in and out of the ivy that climbs the pine tree. In the summer, the hummingbirds stick their beaks into the red salvia at the base of this tree. Lately, the leaves have been changing their clothes and dropping a few things on the ground. On a lazy, unrushed morning, I just rest my face on my arms on the windowsill and take it all in, while wondering what we’re going to do today. You know, me and Jesus. And hubby. 
    This time on the windowsill is a precious, much appreciated time for me, after all the years of being a mom and wife. Long ago, our old full size bed’s headboard rested against this same wall with this window right above it. My itty bitty kids would come in and crawl up onto the bed, wanting me to get up. I simply was dying for just a bit more early morning sleep. I’ll never forget little Brianne, standing on the pillows, looking out the window and telling sleepy me, “Soooo, let’s talk about it!” She just really wanted her sociable day to begin…by talking about whatever “it” was, with me.
    The memories are sweet now and I’m glad, GRATEful that I survived the tough times, that hubby survived working very long hard hours as a U.P.S. slave oops, driver. We dealt with intense frustration at times and I even wondered once or twice if life would’ve been better if I’d married someone else. God would never strike me down in those moments. The grace through Jesus allowed me to see that the difficulties were not as big as I imagined and that I was indeed supposed to be right where he placed me, right with the guy who chose ME!
    It was a thrill for me to look out the window this morning to see the hoarder bluejay and a squirrel, stocking up on goodies before our storm rolled in today. We’ve had a bit of rain, a dusting of snow and WIND. Now, we’ll have to replace some fence. It’s a blessing in disguise because things needed to be rearranged anyway. Some of life’s events are opportunities to make a change and do it better. That’s what my hope is!
    This crazy xanga is beyond me tonight. How did I end up with duplicates of the one picture? Oh well. Let’s just go with it. We all fall down. LOL!

November 9, 2012

  • Trying to Stay “Up”

    A Controlled Burn was happening yesterday. By evening, our town was practically dripping in heavy smoke. This is one of the few curses of life in P-town.  
    After the events of earlier this week, I needed to just randomly take pictures.
    Pears, old roses kept for posterity and a few other silly things that I haven’t posted.
    It’s been a nice “friend” week. THANK GOD for friends! 
    I’m thankful for understanding and compassionate friends. Why is it that friends love you better than a family member? I’ve been feeling snubbed by a family member. Maybe because I am different, simple, and don’t live the fancy life and my taste veers to the old and charming. Blah!
    Tomorrow evening, we’re going to babysit the beautiful, funny and charming 5 Grandwonders! Jonathan and Tara need a date night. I offered this opportunity to Tara and she seemed so happy to say yes! I pray the weather will not ruin it for them! We’re supposed to get some messy, cold weather. Speaking of…
    Rain! Oh, a parking lot smells SO good when the first bunch of sprinkles hits it. Tonight, everything is beautifully wet. And hopefully, the pine forests are recovering from the burn and the dry spell we’ve had.
    Tonight, we were watching Young Sherlock Holmes. I nearly vomited and sobbed when it came to a sacrificial ceremony…I had to get up and leave the room. What a horrible stupid movie. Anything satanic gets me emotionally and physically  upset. Thankfully, Rich felt bad about choosing such a bad movie. He/we had NO IDEA it was going to have that horrendous content. My reaction, however, pretty much proves that yes, something like that may have happened to me and my younger sister when we were little, living in PA. She has said it happened and I never could remember, but I had some bad dreams and reactions.  I am more than thankful that because of Jesus and the power of his comfort, I can get over this and not let it consume my life.
    Pears are so pretty and I liked how they look on that plate. I know some people who don’t like the texture, but I really love them.
    A question presented on TV…Are you addicted to the computer? My only addiction, I realize, is this: does anyone care enough about me to respond to me? I care enough about people to respond to them. The caring, the attention…the love. That’s what I need. Probably because here in the little house, I feel somewhat deprived. And some days, it’s way more than somewhat.  But a certain someone is aware as of this evening that the little wife needs him to engage….emotionally!
    My friend Laura S. is selling a product called Nerium. It’s a formula for the face to fade the fine lines and age spots and some scarring. I’ve been trying it out…of course, it’ll take a good 2 months to see results. I don’t mind a few much deserved wrinkles! There are a few things on my face that I’d like to get rid of though. Like the dog bite scar, the acne scars, the big pores and maybe some of the canyons in my forehead.
    Hair.  Good grief. I’m thankful I still have it! The color issue is bugging me. More grey than ever is appearing along my part line. Should I just go grey? I love Mom’s hair. She still has some dark hair and some grey. It looks pretty and soft. After she went through chemo for breast cancer a few years ago, we wondered how her hair would be. She’s VERY fortunate to have what grew through.
    Bucket List.   Who came up with that term? Anyway, I’m writing a new list. Like, I want to know how it feels to drive a luxury car. So, test driving a luxury car would be on the list. Maybe my sister would let me drive her new Mercedes. I don’t WANT one, of course. I simply want to know how it feels to drive one. Silly me.
    Dear God, I just really wish that you would allow David Kessener to be completely relieved of that awful Lyme disease.  There are SO many hurting, suffering people. You know I come to you often, pleading for relief for these people.
    Christmas will be very different this year. Hopefully joyful, despite very few material things. I do need to get my Christmas shoebox together for Samaritan’s Purse. It IS better to give than to receive!
    The Melatonin is hitting. Hallelujah! Sleep will feel so very nice tonight.

October 29, 2012

  • The Heart That Cares Too Much

    This little square of caramel chocolate is not enough. The mocha that I drank today was not enough. Neither were the eggs scrambled in bacon or the candy corn…and I only bite the chocolate bottoms off of the candy corn. A vigorous session of exercise may have helped. Taking pictures helped.  Bible study helped some. Prayer helped.

    I care too much. I feel too strongly. Enough about “I”.
    YOU all brighten this world! So do alot of the people in my In Person world. Take Tara, for example. She is married to my firstborn, Jonathan. She is a treasure, a gift to our entire family, yet she seems to blush when these kinds of affirmation are spoken to her. She has been in our little world since we first met her in 2003 and it’s been fun, a blessing to see her mature and meld into our family while creating her own with our son. She was a great listener today while I was on a bit of a rant about church and what all was wrong with it this morning. She’s encouraging and isn’t afraid to talk to me. Woe to me if I ever became an unruly, controlling mother-out-law.
    My prayers now are all over the place; hurricane Sandy may blow my relatives’ trees down near Philadelphia or do damage to friends’ lives in other areas.   Hopefully, everyone is prepared. Then there are the friends in California who live where the latest earthquake was felt. I always kind of worry about them over there!  The friends who are and have been sick, the ones who are very sad for various reasons are being prayed for. Make the most of the good moments while you have them!
    A funny thing crossed my car’s path in a little intersection in our town on Friday; a man was walking his dog and his donkey. I was reminded that someone else regularly walks a goat right downtown…It’d be fun to have a pig to walk around the Courthouse Square! For now, though, our dog Kilo is enough for our walking companion and won’t cause near accidents for gawkers!
    Hopefully, you all will have a safe beginning to this week!

October 22, 2012

  • It’s Today and I’m So sLeEpY!

    How do you “begin” your week? WHEN does your new week begin? Sunday or Monday? Which is your favorite day of the week? I’ve been thinking of that alot lately. I suppose my new week begins on Monday but I don’t go to work. So, it only feels like Monday because most of the neighbors go to work, and most of the kids go to school and one dadgum neighbor dog begins the week with the most irritating screech bark that awakens me at about 7:30, which is a delightful time to get up for most people. NOT for me, as I am not a normal sleeper. After my heart settled down this morning, I decided the screeching was a blessing in disguise and I could just go ahead and begin the Monday, the new week. (and forgive my neighbor for having such a horrid sounding dog…I do love dogs.)

    Tuesday is usually a good day, providing decent sleep has held me for several hours. It’s my favorite day of the week now. The ‘hood is quieter and one more person has gone to work and I feel that I can go out into my yard and breathe. Do any of the people in your life make you feel like you’re being stifled? I have to quietly say, “Jesus, help me breathe. Give me your strength.” And then I wait. Wait on him. In this one situation in which I’m stifled, I’ve been WAITING on him to change something for YEARS. I won’t give up. Because of HIM, I’m stronger, not so terribly stifled. There is hope!
    I haven’t mentioned something on here that has affected my ever lovin’ feeling heart. “It” makes me cry. “It” makes me see even more clearly that God is in control and His love covers all pain. His comforting arms have to “do” because I am too far to comfort. Maybe that is just okay, as it allows for more maturing, more dependence on HIM. Everybody has to go through SoMeThiNg, right? Just pray please. ‘Cuz I’m really feeling “it” today.
    Moving right along…hubby and I continue to go on walks as long as we feel up to it. Walking is a sanity saver and we feel both worn out and refreshed afterwards. Kilo loves going, too, but he horrified us when he waited to leave his business right in the middle of a path. It was an unusually messy one and we had nothing to scoop it up with! We probably should should bring a little shovel and bucket next time. Good Grief, Charlie Brown!
    Last night I made Corn Puddin’ for dinner, plus hubby had chili. Tonight will be ham steak and baked potatoes stuffed with cheese and broccoli. I hope I can control myself with the cheese!
    Our weather is feeling like Fall and my head keeps saying that certain foods would taste divine right now. My stomach would agree. My discipline says NO! What a battle! Well, I better get going…my cilantro plant needs to be trimmed. It has grown beautifully and I need to clip a bunch and share it with cilantro lovers!

October 16, 2012

  • That Ripple Effect, Ya Know?

    Whether it’s a slight breeze, a duck dipping down under the water or a big rock being thrown in, the ripple begins and spreads. In this moment, it was all beautiful, but looking at the ripple effect this evening makes me think of the damage that is done when one person’s dishonesty is believed by unsuspecting people. It’s even worse when I am the one in the middle….I am the one who must come up with the proof that a statement was untrue and that the sky is really NOT falling down. The sky may be temporarily ugly (life’s difficulties with aging parents, etc.) but it isn’t falling. I am so grateful that God put a bit of clever thinking into my head at just the right moment, so that I could provide proof. When you ask for help, it can come from interesting places and people; we’ve seen that, and I am comforted to know that among our friends and family, the needed help will come. I do have my dull moments when I am tired of dealing with all this “stuff”. Those dull moments are when I just want to move away or at least hide so that I won’t have to carry this load with the tricky little edges.  Funny thing is, without fail, the best Bible verses pop up at me inside my soul and the one I hang my heart on right now is “MY grace is sufficient for you”. Jesus is grace. Jesus is sufficient for me, therefore, I’m in a place where his love and compassion envelopes me.  This is amazing truth. There’s no need for Pity Parties, no need for “Awwww, I feel your pain” or anything like that. This is life and life is tough. Life is toughER. Life is also beautiful and crazy and ridiculous and well, add your own words, because mine are about used up already.   May God’s grace ripple through your soul.