Nnnnkay, so I have chewed off 3 nails in the past few days. I let them grow out to a pretty length and then my nervous system gets a bit edgy and I start gnawing. But that's not the real story today. Or tonight. Today I helped my man pick up/clean up 3 tons worth of old roofing. Now I wish I was 30pounds lighter and ten years younger; I could've been SO much more productive! I swept and swept. I love to sweep! I will probably dream of shingles, nails, dust and brooms. My now 53 year old hubby and our friend Robert were in fine form. With all their hard work though, they just had to sit a spell. After a nice break, they really kicked into gear and before I knew it, the framing for two walls were done. YAY. I am feeling more hopeful and excited! Tomorrow, my man will really go to town with the roof (before it rains), while Robert finishes the framing, drywall and insulation. That's the plan anyway. By the time we're finished with this, Robert hopes and expects to get a "clean" bill of health. Like cancer in remission. We hope that the Lord will bless him that way! Not everyone gets the good news, though. Suffering is such a big part of life. This morning before I got into my day, I checked in with the Word of God. I've read this particular Scripture before but as I read it again, it hit me all over again.

"Consider him (Jesus) who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?

My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives. It is for discipline that you have to endure."   Hebrews 12: 3-7a

I'm not saying that the Lord is disciplining Robert with the cancer, but what I have seen and heard from him is that the cancer has brought him much closer to the Lord.

Jesus did endure so much. He still does as people verbally bash him and reject him. Robert has openly and boldly talked to people about Jesus. He is passionate about what God has done for him. He lives his life with the desire to show off His Lord. It is a privilege to get to be around someone like this and be in on the blessing!

Added bonus: roses from my Hun. I guess I'll keep him around awhile longer.  ( :

My head hurts. That's all. I feel a bit off. But not ugly. Kind of like this picture that I took while sitting in the car waiting for hubby to come out of the auto parts store. The message to me from God right now is, "I am the Lord your GOD. I will sustain you!"

I hope you all are experiencing GOD in awesome ways today.   Love, GAil

Receiving is not easy for me. I like to be the giver. When it comes to prayer however, it is a beautiful thing to know that my friends have prayed for me and my family. I will never say "No, don't pray for me!". My hubby is doing really well after going through his pain and appendectomy, then the healing time afterwards. Our remodel project is coming along with hubby doing alot of the work! God's hand is definately in this project! Everything we've needed so far has been on sale, with the contractor's discount on top of that! Because this is an old house, some of the work has been tedious. Right now the guys are doing work under the old kitchen sink; trying to pry and saw and stuff. I feel so bad for them as they obviously have to use every bit of brawn they have. I know they both wish they still had their 30 year young bodies to go along with the 52 year old and 68 year old know-how! But God is taking care of every detail. Including taking care of Robert who is our 68 year old contractor blessing of a friend. He has prostate cancer that has cleared up from the prostate, but is now in his bones. He is undergoing chemo treatments. He goes all the way down to Mayo in Scottsdale for his treatments. His determination to work is amazing but we are very careful to make sure he gets the breaks he needs. We would appreciate your prayers for him! I will post pictures now and then of the progress here! Right now, it's just a big mess. But it's OUR mess and it will result in something beautiful; something we are so very thankful for!!!

what the Lord has done for me.  You should never think that you can get what you want just because you want it! I had a dream, a yearning, an almost desperate, crying need to go to the ocean. During the summer we had neither time nor money.  I knew I had to let go of what I wanted (again) and give it to the Lord. That along with our need for my hubby's deceased parents' house to sell. I focused instead on just doing exactly what I KNEW the Lord wanted me to do. Be faithful. Be grateful. Be kind. Be loving. Be peaceful. Be calm. Be compassionate. Be helpful. Be useful. Be prayerful. Be trusting. Be believing. Be diligent. Be quiet. Be joyful. Be funny. Be sad. Be understanding. Be encouraging. Be selfless. Be humble. I couldn't BE any of that on my own. He could BE all that through me. I just had to let go and let Him BE through me. This isn't the first time I've had this message come to me. It might even be similar to something I've posted in the past. But sometimes, what's old is new. Especially for me with my forgetful little mind. Anyway, in what seemed like no time at all, the parents' house sold. The money really did go into our bank account!  I cried WOW tears. Thankful tears! We decided to take a trip over Labor Day weekend. To the beach. Well, the Lord said no. Hubby had this pain that would not go away. He tried to tough it out but decided a visit to the doctor was in order. I KNOW! A man wanting to go to the doctor!?! Well, it was his appendix and after the week of pain, the offending appendix was removed through the laparoscopic procedure. He had to spend the night in the hospital and it took a week for him to be almost normal, with orders to not lift anything heavier than 5 pounds. We cancelled our beach plans, of course and I wasn't devastated. I was so very grateful that my man was still with me. In the meantime, the Lord moved us to spend time with a friend of ours who has been in construction for years and has established a great reputation in this little city. He has been fighting cancer, but continued to work, although "jobs" were becoming scarce. Hmmmm. We live in a little old house that needed lots of work years ago! Now we have money and Robert has time and needs money. You can imagine my talking and listening to the Lord. Really, Lord? Should we? OKAY! So, we got the green light. A new electric box has been installed by Robert and my hubby. They've been up in our little, constricting attic and came out of there dripping in sweat and dust/muddy dust from pulling wiring through. It's a sheer miracle this house hasn't burned down! Next on the agenda...framing for a new kitchen, then a new roof and gutters. Halelujah! I now cry tears of relief I am amazed with all this goodness, yet not amazed because GOD can do anything and we should just know that and believe it because it's so NORMAL for Him! So, dear ones, never, ever, ever, EVER doubt God.

She is me. It is now Sunday afternoon and it is beautifully hot and breezy outside with storm clouds playing around on the horizon. I'm just tired and I feel like a snail, sloooowwwwwly oozing along 'til I decide whether or not I will stop for awhile and just plain old rest! My handsome hubby is resting in pain after his Friday appendectomy. He refuses to take his Tylenol 3. Oh well. At least he was able to eat some mashed potatoes and a bowl of chicken broth with noodles. The teens are out with youth group friends, celebrating a few kids' birthdays. Church for hubby and I was right here in our little livingroom. A fabulous message was preached on the television and some awesome encouraging messages and music were right here on Xanga. Thank you SO much! YOU know who you are! The only thing missing in our little livingroom church was the offering plate; giving money. No worries there, though. God has moved my heart in a certain way and I will take action; the imaginary offering plate has come by and it is a blessing to be able to put something in it. Giving is not always easy, especially if you've lived a life of having to do without and seeming to never quite having enough. But when you don't think about what you don't have, then you realize what others need and you are happy to help. Thrilled to give. Even to give sacrificially with an open hand. Share what you have with others. Let me say it again, 'cuz I am SO excited about that message that God has put on my heart for the past few weeks. SHARE WHAT YOU HAVE WITH OTHERS!   I almost feel like HE is commanding me to do that. Me...the fat little lazy, selfish snail who has been crawling along worrying about how we will afford this and that. How will we get from here to there? Faith. Letting go of the past. Forgiveness. Not letting fear of past pain or current pain keep us from going forward. So, I move forward, pref erably under God's power because He never fails. He never drops off the wall, never gives up!

A little after ten this morning I was in the shower. I'd already received a blessing of a greeting from a dear Xanga friend. My hubby seemed to be feeling a bit better after 3 days of pain. I was hopeful that my day would be bright and productive, like sunshine. As I took hold of the shampoo bottle, my mind was all abuzz with 52 year old brain cells catching up with 32 year old hopes and dreams. Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts! Then BANG! Thunder! It was only thunder but shooooweeee! I did a 2 second scrubadub on my head and a half a rinse job, jumped out, grabbed a towel and I was outa that little bathroom in a lightening flash. The storm continued and we got what seemed like a month's worth of rain, which, of course we needed! As I contemplate the things that have come about during the afternoon, I would like to tell a couple of situations to just GO AWAY! But I know that the Lord has a purpose in everything. There is a reason for death and life and CAT scans (for hubby tomorrow) and hopes and dreams either going down the drain with the rain or coming true!

"Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul." Psalm 143:8

I was down in the dumps recently and needed a pick me up. A kind friend invited me to go on a photo hike, so hubby and I went out with our friend the next morning. I had asked the Lord to please show me something beautiful, considering we were going to be in town and I knew our friend had already photographed the place to death, and I thought I had, too! Well, we ended up walking the creek. There's some ugliness in some of the places we went to, particularly an old abandoned motel where homeless people obviously stay now. My camera found both the ugly and the beautiful and I came away with a greater appreciation for where I live and what I have and who I am. Thanking the Lord, over and over again...

What time did you get up this morning? ten. Yes, ten!         2. How do you like your steak? not bloody, tender                                     3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Julie and Julia

4. What is your favorite TV show? Cake Boss
5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? Dana Point, CA

6. What did you have for breakfast? oatmeal


7. What is your favorite cuisine? Italian

8. What foods do you dislike? slimy, lima beans

9. Favorite Place to Eat? Genovese's

10. Favorite dressing? My own; orange juice with Miracle Whip

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive? 2006 Chevy Trailblazer, WHITE lol!

12. What are your favorite clothes? The ones that fit me 2 years ago!
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13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? St. Croix, Dana Point, Laguna Beach

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? depends on the day

15. Where would you want to retire? We are.  But I'd like a clean, new place. San Diego would be nice!

16. Favorite time of day? Eleven a.m. It takes me awhile to get movin'!

17. Where were you born? Philadelphia, PA

18. What is your favorite sport to watch? Olympic swimming or running

19. Who do you think will not tag you back?

20. Person you expect to tag you back first?

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this?

22. Bird watcher? Yes but not with binocs. Birds fascinate me!

23. Are you a morning person or a night person? I am a noon person!

24. Pets? 2 dogs Kilo and Kaci.

25. Any new and exciting news that you'd like to share? Hmmm. Not yet.

26. What did you want to be when you were little? a wife, mom, teacher. Later, an OB nurse and an architect and an artist and an interior decorator and a Hair stylist!

27. What is your best childhood memory? camping at TipTam campgrounds with family and friends; I think it was in New Jersey

28. Are you a cat or dog person? Dog...cats are cute but I'm allergic to them!

29. Are you married? happily for 29 years ( :


30. Always wear your seat belt? yep, but the shoulder one cuts into my neck.

31. Been in a car accident? yes,,, the 2 worst; hit a deer in Colorado, at 9 pm, pitch black night, an hour outside of Durango. The other one, a windy, dark night north of Phoenix; a furniture dolly was lifted out of the back of a pickup in front of us and it hit the hood of our van, then my side of the windshield. Two awful accidents where miraculously, we weren't hurt. Just badly shaken and tremendously thankful!

32. Any pet peeves? Oh my, where do I start? People who have no manners

33. Favorite pizza topping? pineapple

34. Favorite Flower? There are so many to be my favorites! I love Sweet Pea, Rose of Sharon, Roses, Peonies, Lily of the Valley, like I said, so many. Not enough space here!

35. Favorite ice cream? Ben and Jerry's Coffee Coffee Buzz, Buuzz, Buzz
36. Favorite fast food restaurant? Chipotle

37. How many times did you fail your driver's test?none


38. From whom did you get your last email? my friend Nancy

39. At which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Anthropologie

40. Do anything spontaneous lately? Went on a photo shoot/ hike with a Pro!
 

42. Broccoli? Not tonight!

43. What was your favorite vacation? tenth anniversary with hubby in southern CA


44. Last person you went out to dinner with? Hubby

45. What are you listening to right now? hubby talking, Brianne playing with Kilo
 

46. What is your favorite color? blue

47. How many tattoos do you have? Ahahahaha! Like blue, brown, black, green would look good on my saggy baggy premenopausal body? NO! When I was younger, I never even thought to get myself stuck with needles so that I could bleed and take on ugly colored designs. No! The idea was foreign to me.

49. What time did you finish this quiz? 8:05 AZ time

50. Coffee Drinker? No. It's too bitter! I LOVE my mocha, however! Just a 1/2 teaspoon of instant coffee in my Hershey cocoa powder (1 heaping tbspn), with 3 tbspns. xylosweet, 1/8 cup boiling water and 1 cup hot 1% milk. mmm, mmm, mmm!

My girl is on the brink of her last year in high school. She does not want to go. She really just wants to already know everything! When she was 21/2 and my boys were 6 mos. and 11, and I was sleepy and stressed, Brianne would run into my room in the morning, jump onto my bed, whip open the curtains above the bed, plop down beside me and in her clear, assertive voice say, "SO. Let's TALK about it! C'MON Mama, get up!" Oh, I would moan and beg her to please go away and let me sleep for just a bit longer. But she was just so plumb cute that I could not ignore her and didn't really want her to go away. I still do not want her to go away! I DO want to "talk about it", no matter what the IT is!!! I wish she would burst into my room now and let the sunshine in! So much of her life now is her life; so full of other people, other responsibilities, other influences. She's a dear soul who still needs guidance and advice but wants to get that from other people. At times that is good. At times it isn't. But I am "just" her mom. I am no longer mama. Time is flying by us and I just want to scream for the time to STOP so that I can hold my baby girl in my arms and tell her again that she is my "Pretty Precious"! My eyes are getting awfully watery now. Brianne just got home and is in her bedroom. Maybe I should go in there and jump onto her bed and say, "SO, let's talk about it!"

Twice in one day, I was struck with the same reference to 2 Chronicles 16:9. I've been reading 2 different books and today, while reading both, this Bible verse came up and I knew that this is something for me to take seriously. Do you ever get those kinds of messages? The books are: HERO by Fred Stoeker and Jasen Stoeker, and Faithful Women and Their Extraordinary God by Noel Piper.  The verse: "For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to give strong support to those whose heart is blameless toward him. You have done foolishly in this, for from now on you will have wars."

Is my heart truly committed to my LORD? Not like it should be. I want more and more to experience the kind of power He has shown through people who completely trust Him. I would love to know what it's like to have His strength shoot into me like a lightening bolt shoots through a pine tree in the forest, and to be struck by him on a regular basis. To be completely saturated with everything He is about. To be so into Him that I wouldn't even think about worldly goods and behaviors. To be so trusting that I wouldn't worry about how much pain hurts, or who's going to make sure my kids are doing the right thing.

I am far from eloquent; my style is simple, but one thing I am definately struck with every single day is how God loves me. How He loves you! The excitement that bubbles up inside of me is something I want to spread around. Have you ever opened a jar of marshmallow creme and take the paper off and watch that yummy stuff pop right up and ooze out of the jar? Yep, that's me.

So, God is watching.

Today I made flour tortillas for lunch and it looks like I will be cranking these babies out again tomorrow. They are so yummy! I do know the trick for making perfect rounds; (place a bowl on the rolled out dough and cut around the bowl). But I decided that the rugged look is better; they're HOMEmade, after all! I made quesadillas with them and everyone was happy.

That's "Bethy Boo" in the brown dress and Marla in the print top. Beth Anne is 41/2 years younger than I am and Marla is 2 years older. We had a good time at Olive Garden in HOT Phoenix on Saturday, celebrating our little brother's 40th birthday, which was the 24th. That was a special day, because he was born and the astronauts came back from their moon walk trip. It's always a good day when everyone lands safely where they're supposed to!  Do please pray for this brother; he messed up his life terribly, making victims here and there and in his own family. Our parents think he's getting his act together (he lives with them now), but I honestly believe that he's still skilled at deceiving. I love him dearly but I hate what he's done. I pray that the Lord will deal with him, and I know we have to trust God's timing and His ways. I also believe that I must ask his ex wife if it's really wise to allow their children to spend unsupervised time with their dad. How do you know if your gut feeling is right or wrong???

I will strive to live with strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow! GREAT is GOD's FAITHFULNESS! His mercy endures forever, His love is everlasting. He waters the earth with rain and waters my soul with grace. He pulls me up out of a slump with gentle pressure and gives His own brand of determination to get through today with a joyful heart. Wow, do I love Him!

Another weekend has shot on by and here I am again, wanting to run away from my everyday world and its tiring challenges. Why don't I just go ahead and run? Ahahahaha! I told my hubby in a good natured way today that I think I'll just go ahead and pack a suitcase and leave for a week. He hugged me and tickled me and laughed and smiled. He then reminded me that I don't know how to put gas in the car. Did you just gasp? Mmmm hmmm. I've never put gas in the car. He's always done it for me. Even when he shattered his right elbow 2 years ago...he just used his left hand and did what he could with his bound up right arm. I was ready to learn then. But no, he did it. So, unless I learn how to put gas in the car, I'm stuck. But now, on this quiet Sunday evening, I'm fine with it. The Lord has poured His love down through me and I have a renewed mind....a determination to fire up the guns tomorrow morning, pray my armour on and ready myself for another day of whatever comes at me. Maybe I'll even make hubby teach me to gas up the car. Just in case. ( :

For cryin' out loud, what is goin' on??? I've always been a protective, loving mom, not wanting too much of the ugliness of the world to run like spilled ink into my kids' lives!  I allowed my young friend to take my son as one of 3 invited guests to a Diamondback's baseball game in Phoenix. My friend's son was celebrating his 16th birthday. They would be going to dinner first. In order to shorten te story I will skip ahead to the next night when we found out where they went to dinner. It starts with an H and the waitresses are supposed to be the main attraction because of their ample upper anatomy. Our son told us later that when he saw where they were going in to, he thought, "UH,OH, this isn't going to go over well at all." But he wasn't strong enough to tell the mom that this wasn't the kind of place we go to and that he was uncomfortable with it. That night, Hubby and I barely slept, we were so upset. We are both extremely sensitive about this whole subject due to the fact that abuse occurred in my family and a certain horrid magazine was shown to hubby as a 12 year old. I have seen part of my family completely destroyed because of  the effects of you can guess what. Also, we are sensitive about the whole anti-Christ world and the popular authors who glorify evil and the movies that have been made as a result of the books' popularity. We never allowed our children to read those books or go see those movies. Well, tonight I got a phone call from our youth pastor's house from a young friend who casually mentioned that they were almost finished watching ALL of those H. Potter movies!!!!!! I thought I would burst my vocal chords yelling, "WHAT???" into the phone! The poor kid didn't know what to say! I am livid, people. I , at this very moment want to leave our church and find one where people aren't going to undermine our parenting and just assume that the kids' parents are okay with this stuff. If I'd known that dinner was going to be at H------s and that H. Potter movies were on at the youth pastor's house, my son would NOT have been allowed to go!  Hubby and I have been in this church since Jan. of 1987; very active in as  manyministries as possible, lately to the point of burnout. Please tell me...Do you think it is normal for this stuff to be happening? Our kids just got back from a "mission" trip to Skid Row in LA and a large Christian conference with awesome speakers and bands. In preparation for the trip, they weren't allowed to listen to secular music or go to any pg-13 movies (or worse). Nice. Happy parents. Oh, and of course, all the good little teenagers memorized Scripture. I loved all this support and spiritual backup for us parents. Now, I feel like it's all down the toilet. Am I right in feeling this way or am I overreacting? Hubby and I will now have to meet with our youth pastor and tell him where we stand; he's only 27, not a parent, graduated fro Moody Bible in Chicago and is ongoing with his eduacation. Married for 4 years. We really, really need your prayers 'cuz my nature says to just throw in the towel and take off. The still small voice inside says, "I am with you always, even to the end of the age"...even to where you have your hand on the exit door, even to when you are sick of churchianity, masks, two faced people, wimpy leaders who are trying to please everyone. He says, I am with you even when you are the judgemental person, thinking you can do all these "jobs" better than that other gal can or even when you are the whiney complainer not wanting to do anyting because you want a vacation and you're angry at everyone because you"need a break". I am with you always when you are sincere and when you are not. I am with you always, even when my other children hurt you and when you want to hurt them back. I am with you, I am with you, I am WITH you. Oh dear, dear dear.

The weather here has been stormy and it affects my being from the inside out. What really helps me right now, like today and right this moment is that God shows me the beauty when He wants to. I just have to pick up my head, open my eyes and see the beauty in every situation. I open my Bible and read. My heart is opened and melted. But right now, I must be honest and say that I am barely in the picking up my head stage! Yesterday I picked up my head enough to go outside and see this amazing cloud. Seeing it delighted me. I was thankful for that beauty! Then later, the prettiness disappeared and the whole sky was ugly and dark. My insides then felt ugly and dark , through to when I was wanting to go to sleep. "Oh, dear Lord" I said. Then I began to thank Him for His love and for taking care of us. I pleaded with Him to hold Jan's heart valve open and let her live yet another day and help her to hold on for when she can finally get to the dentist and get that bad tooth pulled finally. I spoke with Him about Linda's diabetes and the problems that come with that and talked about Chile's adventures in Israel and please keep her safe, and for my friend Michelle who is a missionary in Honduras where things got volitile with the government situation....on and on andzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Prayer, talking to the Lord...I so desperately need Him more and more. And while my head is down, I need to listen to HIM, not to the ugly, dark things that the enemy wants me to hear. I need to see God's beauty, NOT the ugliness that enemy #1 wants to blind me with!!! God gave me the option to choose what to do. I want to choose His way.  Especially today.